


Baby its 3 am

by Saltysoon



Series: Wonwoo's regrets [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I wrote this while listening to 3AM by finding hope, M/M, Pining, Regret, Sad, honestly this is just wonwoo being a sad boi, pent up emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:54:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27416857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saltysoon/pseuds/Saltysoon
Summary: Wonwoo calls Soonyoung one last time.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, minor Kim Mingyu/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi - Relationship
Series: Wonwoo's regrets [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022545
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	Baby its 3 am

"Do you know what time it is?" Soonyoung says, sounding exactly the same as he did when wonwoo used to wake him up for his early morning classes. A simpler time, when all wonwoo cared about was classes and video games.

Wonwoo laughs, the sound vibrating in his belly, that’s how hard he laughs. He thinks momentarily how different the situations are, from then and now. Laughs at the irony, laughs at himself, laughs because he doesn't know how to cry.

He wonders what his crying could even achieve, when they’ve reached where they are, he’s willing to try though, he wonders when that stopped being enough.

He expects Soonyoung to get progressively more irritated at his lack of response. But he just patiently asks again, taking advantage of his knowledge in all things wonwoo, knowing his irritation would just shut wonwoo more.

He loathes it, despises Soonyoung’s understanding of him, because if soonyoung truly knew him, they wouldn't be, here would they? He doesn’t let himself believe otherwise either, some truths he’s just not ready to face.

"Hoshi ya" wonwoo manages to breathe out, after somewhat catching his breath. A consequence of becoming old, 30 above is not old, but when everyday is reminder of how things have changed one feels old, one feels tired, one feels exasperated.

"Are you mad at me?" is the immediate response. Even if he could, there is no way wonwoo stops the smirk that comes to his face. There are a few things that come out of the amount of time and memories two people have together. They trigger each other, they know each other’s ticks, Wonwoo never thought he'd use them anywhere other than convincing Soonyoung to ride him in bed. But here he is, desperate and petty. Wonwoo would always deny it, but truthfully, he's always been somewhat desperate and petty when it comes to _his soonyoungie_.

"Wonwoo"

He knows Soonyoung is losing patience at this point. He hears the shuffling of fabric and lets his imagination wander.

_He can almost see him get out of bed, head over to the kitchen and fix himself a cup of green tea. Why? he would ask Soonyoung, when in this scenario he was finishing up last minute work, sitting on the dining table. He would ask because he could, because him then wasn't as cold as him today. So, he would get up from his place, wrap his arms around Soonyoung’s waist, nuzzle in the ticklish part of his neck just to hear his giggles and ask "why?"_

_"Because its bitter enough to keep me awake, but not bitter enough to steal my sleep."_

_"Just go to sleep. why don't you?" Would be wonwoo's typical response. He knew what reaction he would get, but back then he was too young and too high on love. Teasing was his love language, if only he had realized communication was soonyoungie’s._

_"This is all your fault as if you don’t know, you just had to cling onto me every night of our college years. Now I can't even sleep without you." As angry as Soonyoung is trying to look, wonwoos heart just can't look beyond his cuteness. He feels the ache, it’s been a while since it resurfaced, he hasn't felt an ache in his heart this deep since the late college years he spent pining over Soonyoung. The thought of losing this, losing him emerges. He would be quick to fall down the spiral of despair if not for wonwoo’s years of practice of shoving emotions, locking them somewhere in the corners of his heart._

_"And that’s exactly what i want. It is my masterplan. I'll make it so you can't live without me soonyoungie. Who is going to cuddle you like I do? That’s right. Nobody."_

Wonwoo wishes he had taken these words more seriously then, so maybe Soonyoung wouldn't have left him so easily. Wonwoo hates how he has to acknowledge this, he got left behind, soonyoungie left him.

Wonwoo is a man full of missed opportunities which have led to a lot of regret. He knows he'll regret this moment too, but now he is a so full of regret that this call, had he not made this call, he would have regretted that too, so he might as well live with it.

"Nonu" Soonyoung says softly and now wonwoo knows he is at his limit. He knows this is it now, it'll be pointless to say this any time after now. Wonwoo gathers all his strength, the last of it, all that is left in his body anyways is sadness and want stewing in the bottom of his belly. But he supposes that won't go away until his memory doesn't force him to forget. To forget those slanted eyes with the passion of a thousand suns. The body that moved oh so gracefully. And the heart that once loved him more than anything. 

"Don't marry him, soonyoungie." He’ll go to hell for this, but even today nothing scared wonwoo more than losing him, _his soonyoungie_. Afterlife’s hell sounds like a better option than the hell he’d go through if he didn’t say it. His friends always called him a coward, but as he says these words wonwoo realizes that holding back is a lot harder than putting yourself out there. Another thought that quickly adds into his long list of regrets.

"We've always been a bit cruel to each other haven't we nonu? I know how much you love to get the last word, so I apologize that I'm the one who gets to be cruel one last time" If wonwoo had a heart, it would shattered in his body, instantly killing him. Good thing he gave his away to his current killer a long time ago. He wonders if he’ll ever feel whole again, the possibility seems to move farther away the more soonyoung talks.

Unaware of his thoughts Soonyoung continues, "If you would have come to me even yesterday before the rehearsal dinner, I would be in your arms today. But instead you choose to make people laugh with anecdotes of yours and mingyu's friendship. You're late jeon wonwoo. You’re too late as always" Soonyoung chuckles, no humor in his voice. "I need my beauty sleep, see you tomorrow at the wedding wonwoo."

Wonwoo doesn't know how long he stayed there, waiting for the bed to swallow him whole but the next thing his mind processes is him handing mingyu the ring, as his best man. Watching silently as mingyu starts a new phase of his life with the only person wonwoo ever loved.

**Author's Note:**

> This is well quite sad, i hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. 
> 
> My twitter is @saltysoon ! come talk to me there, i also write soonwoo, soongyu social media aus if you wanna check them out ! 
> 
> lots of love <3


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